


Confusion of the Heart

by Akuma2x1



Series: Confusion of the Heart [1]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M, Romance, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-02-14
Updated: 2001-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-24 12:33:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/263509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akuma2x1/pseuds/Akuma2x1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duo meets a Japanese girl with blue eyes and brown hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Stormy's birthday. Happy birthday and Happy Valentine, Stormy ^_______^

It was 02:12 AM in the beginning of February. Tired, freezing, and just finishing his mission, Duo Maxwell walked to the edge of the city, where the safe house was. He cursed having to walk instead of flying his gundam. The mission was to infiltrate an OZ base and steal data; therefore he didn't need to use his gundam. He was passing an alley when he heard several people shouting and laughing. Duo turned toward the alley and saw some men pushed someone up against the wall. It was dark and the moon was hiding behind some clouds so Duo wasn't sure if the person was male or female.

But when Duo could make out the men's words, he knew instantly that the person was a girl. Judging from the dirty words they shouted, those laughing men surely didn't have any good intentions for the girl. Yet another heroic action required, Duo sighed. He walked into the alley. He approached the men and tapped the back of one of the men. "Excuse me, Sir."

The man turned and glared at him. "What do you want, brat?" Duo could smell the beer and knew the man was drunk. "If you want a chance to fuck this girl, get in line." The Deathscythe pilot had had enough, he was tired and he didn't need to listen to any drunken person. One blow to the head and the man was out cold.

Some of the men noticed their friend had been knocked out and leapt to attack Duo. Of course the drunken men weren't a match for a gundam pilot. The others were still leering at the girl, making it easier for the braided pilot to knock them all out.

After all the men had been dealt with, Duo turned his attention to the victim and held his breath as the moonlight revealed the face of the girl. If there were a word to describe the girl, Duo would choose perfect to be it. Her skin was pale cream and her lips were soft pink, tempting to be kissed. Duo sure that she had Asian heritage, judging from the pointed chin and nose she had. But the most attractive part of her was her eyes. They were deep ocean blue and seemed to beacon Duo to drown in them.

Duo approached the girl and was surprised when he saw her eyes held no fear in them. Wasn't this girl afraid of the guys? The braided pilot ran his eyes over the girl's body. She was wearing plain white blouse and pastel blue skirt. Duo noticed a tear in her blouse, revealing a delicate shoulder. He growled as he saw the shoulder was bruised slightly. "Are you okay, girl??"

The girl nodded. Duo removed his jacket to cover the girl's bruised shoulder. He smiled as the girl let him put the jacket on her. "Let's go, it's not safe to stay long here." He offered his hand to the girl. The girl stared at the hand for some time before she put her hand on it.

Duo smiled and led the girl out of the alley. He brought her to a bench next to a street lamp. As the girl sat down, Duo sat next to her and studied her face again. The girl was beautiful and she had shoulder length brown hair. The front of her hair was messy but it suited the girl. Duo could spend all day just watching her. Her lips, her cheeks, her nose, and mostly her eyes, they intoxicated him. Duo couldn't help himself and touched the girl's cheek. The cheek was so soft. The girl looked at Duo, surprised and raised her hand to remove Duo's hand.

Duo moved faster and caught the girl's hand with his free hand. "It's okay. I am not gonna hurt you." He let his fingers caressed the girl's cheek tenderly. Stunned, the girl paused, then lowered her hand. Duo smiled again but didn't let go of her hand, keeping it in his grip. "Did they hurt you anywhere else beside the shoulder?"

The girl shook her head slightly and Duo, who was still caressing the girl's cheek, felt his breath was stolen away as his fingers brushed the girl's lips. He let his forefinger stay on those delicate lips and caressed them. The girl opened her mouth slightly, again surprised by Duo's action. "They didn't manage to kiss you, did they?" Duo looked at the girl. Funny, he just met the girl but he already felt very possessive about her.

Again, the girl shook her head, this time very slightly as she was well aware of Duo's finger on her lips. "Good then." Duo smiled. "My name is Duo Maxwell, what's yours?"

"Hitoe. (read : hee-tou-a)" The girl finally spoke, sending small vibrations through Duo's fingers that are still on her lips. The girl's voice was clear and a little low but it was crystal clear in the middle of the night. So she was Japanese, Duo stored the information away.

"Hitoe, what a beauty name." Duo raised the hand he held and kissed it.

"Uhm.." The girl squirmed and tried to pull her hand away, but Duo held on to it. "Look, I am very thankful for your help, but I have to go now."

"Where is your home? I will walk you home." Duo felt disappointed but he knew it was better for the girl to go home, it was past midnight after all and it was not safe for a girl to wonder alone on the streets around this time.

"No, it's okay. I can go home alone." The girl stood up as Duo reluctantly let go of her hand and drew his other hand from the girl's face.

"I don't think so. It is really dangerous for a girl to walk alone at this hour."

The girl shook her head and said stubbornly. "No, I can take care of myself. Goodbye."

Duo quickly held the girl's hand as she turned to go. "Hitoe, I.."

"Let me go." Duo looked at the girl's eyes and saw nervousness there. It looked like he had pushed the girl too far. After all he was a stranger and his past behavior to the girl didn't help either.

"If you say so.." Duo released Hitoe's hand reluctantly.

"Thank you and here..." She removed Duo's jacket but Duo quickly stopped her.

"You can keep it." Duo smiled.

"But.."

"Don't worry, you can give it back to me later."

"Uhm...." The girl seemed hesitant.

Duo grinned since it'll give him a chance to see the girl again. "How about we meet tomorrow at 01:00 PM here?"

The girl thought for a minute and then nodded. "Okay."

"Great, see ya tomorrow, then." Duo beamed happily.

"See ya." The girl then turned and left Duo.

Duo walked home to the safe house happily. He was going to meet the girl again tomorrow. He arrived at the safe house about 03.00 AM and trotted up to his room that he shared with Heero, the Japanese pilot. He was surprised to see the room was empty. Usually he would find his comrade sitting on his bed, typing on his laptop. Duo assumed Heero must be on a mission too because if he was not on one, then no matter how late Duo got back, Heero was always up, typing on his laptop, as if waiting for him.

The braided pilot plopped down on his bed. He fell asleep, dreaming about the girl he just saved. He didn't wake up when the door was opened half an hour later. If he woke up, he might have seen his Japanese companion staring at him. Slowly the Japanese boy's hand came up and caressed his own cheek as if relishing something there.


	2. Chapter 2

Clack click clack click clack click Duo stirred at the persistent noise. He opened his eyes blearily and looked at the other bed across the room. "Heero, you are back. How was the mission?"

"Hn." The typing sound never stopped.

"I take it as a success then." Duo sat up lazily and looked at his companion. Heero was wearing his usual tank top and black spandex. Duo frowned as he noticed a bruise on Heero's shoulder. "Heero, your are injured."

"Negligible damage."

Duo sighed and bent down to retrieve the first aid kit under his bed. He was used to Heero's behavior and often took liberty to dress the boy's wound. He went to Heero's bed and sat next to the Japanese boy. "Stop typing for a minute and let me tend the bruise."

Heero stopped typing, letting Duo tend his shoulder. Duo often wondered why the Japanese pilot didn't try to dress his small wounds or injuries by himself. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn Heero did it on purpose, like he actually wanted Duo to be tending his wounds. As time went by, he learned it was moments like this that Heero would listen to him and stop his typing to let Duo tend his injuries.

"Okay, done." Duo said as he put the salve on the bruise. "May I know what had caused this?"

"Hn, got into a fight." Heero continued his typing.

Duo made a face. "I shouldn't have asked you that question." He ran his eyes over the laptop and read the report Heero was writing.

Needed a disguise to enter the target place but there was no trouble in keeping the disguise. Mission accomplished with minor damage. The pilot was drugged at the end by the enemies to weaken him, but the other pilot came to his aid in tying up the loose ends.

So the Perfect Soldier needed help? Duo grinned then was surprised as his eyes fell upon the clock on the laptop. 12:10 PM. He had promised the girl to meet at 01:00 PM. "Goddamnit, I will be late!" Duo leaped out and dashed to the bathroom. He didn't notice his Japanese fellow pilot eyeing him carefully. After some moments staring at the closed bathroom door, Heero turned off his laptop and walked out, carrying a bag with him.

Breaking his own record for taking a bath, Duo walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and looked at the alarm clock. 12.21 PM. Damn, a trip, by foot, to the city would take 40 minutes. He would be late if he walked there. "Heero, could you lend me your motor..." Duo stopped his words as he realized Heero was not in the room. Where was he when Duo needed him? Duo cursed and quickly dressed. He went down and found Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei sitting in the living room.

"Good afternoon, Duo." Quatre smiled.

"Good afternoon, Quatre. Do you know where Heero is?" Duo looked around for his Japanese companion.

 

"I saw Yuy leaving with his motorcycle some minutes ago. He said he had a mission." Wufei spoke up.

Since they just settled to this new safe house, Heero's motorcycle was the only transport they had at the moment. "Damn, I will be late! I hope she will wait for me!" Duo quickly left, leaving his three friends looking puzzledly at one another.

"She?" Trowa quirked an eyebrow

"Remind me to ask him about that when he gets back." Quatre grinned.

"I will!" Wufei snorted. He got a feeling that he would enjoy the story.

* * *

As Duo approached the city, he looked at his watch. 01:12 PM. Shit, the girl must be gone by now. Despite his thoughts, Duo quickened his pace and ran to the rendezvous point. To his surprise, he could see the girl was still waiting for him, sitting on the bench.

Duo stopped in front of the girl, panting and sweating. He bent down and rested his hands on his knees, trying to steady his breath. "Sorry, I am late."

"It's okay." A hand with a handkerchief reached up and wiped away the sweat on Duo's face. Duo was surprised and lifted his head to see the girl. At daylight, Duo found the girl's beauty was even more intoxicating. The girl was wearing a yellow pastel shirt and a green pastel skirt. She didn't wear any accessories save a pair of small earrings.

The girl finished wiping away his sweat and stood up. She handed the black jacket that was resting on her lap to Duo. "This is your jacket, thank you for lending it to me."

Duo smiled but didn't make a move to take the jacket from the girl. "You are welcome. Don't you feel cold just wearing one shirt in this temperature?" Although the seasons changed and it was the afternoon, the temperature was still a little cold. Duo himself, was wearing two shirts.

The girl frowned, "A little."

"Well, wear the jacket then. I will take it when I go back later." Duo beamed happily and took the jacket to put it on the girl.

"Don't you want to go home, now?" The girl quirked one of her eyebrows.

"Since I haven't eaten today, I want to eat first. Have you had your lunch?"

The girl shook her head.

"Well, let's have lunch together then." Without waiting for her answer, Duo took her hand and pulled her to the nearest restaurant. He smiled in satisfaction as the girl followed him reluctantly and he didn't let go the girl's hand until they had to sit to order their food.

* * *

"So, what is your last name, Hitoe?" Duo began the conversation while they were waiting for their food. They were sitting at a small table, designed for two people. Duo sat at one end while the girl sat across from him.

"Huh?" The girl looked at him.

"Hitoe is your first name, isn't it? What is your last name?"

The girl shook her head. "I don't have last name; it's just Hitoe."

Duo frowned. He thought every Japanese name consisted of two words. "Didn't your parents give one of their last names to you?"

"I don't have any parents." The girl shrugged.

Duo frowned deeper. Usually people would say, "My parents are gone." Or "They are dead." But this girl phrased it differently. And she didn't explain any further than that, indicating her reluctance to talk about it.

"How about you?" Duo was surprised when the girl inquired back.

"Excuse me?"

"Your parents?"

"Ah, I never knew my parents. As long as I remembered, I have always been an orphan." Duo smiled

"I am sorry."

"It's okay. I don't feel anything for them."

"Who raised you, then?"

"Well, I have been a street urchin for a couple of years before Father Maxwell and Sister Helen took me in."

"Father Maxwell and Sister Helen?"

"Yeah, they ran a church and took care of many orphans like myself." Duo was surprised with himself for talking about his past; a past he never told anyone about before. The girl seemed to have an influence over him, making him feel at ease to speak openly. He decided to change the subject. "How is your shoulder?"

"Huh?"

"The bruised one. Does it still hurt?"

The girl looked at her injured shoulder. "I am fine."

Duo wanted to ask another question but their food had arrived. Since his stomach had been protesting, Duo decided to set the question aside and enjoyed his lunch. While finishing his meal, Duo watched the girl eat. She ate fast and efficiently, reminding Duo of his Japanese companion.

"You know, you look like him."

The girl stopped eating and looked at him. "Him?"

"A Japanese boy, he eats just like you. Does every Japanese eat like that?"

The girl shrugged. "I don't know. Who is this Japanese boy? Is he your friend?"

"Well, sort of." Of course he could not tell the girl that they were Gundam pilots.

"Sort of? Do you hate him?"

"Uhm...no ....but sometimes he can really irritate me."

"How come?"

"He often dismisses me, he doesn't like to talk a lot, and he never smiles. Hey, come to think of it, you don't talk a lot and I've never seen you smiled either. I wonder if it has to do with your Japanese heritage that cause the similarities between you two." Duo pointed his fork at the girl.

"I don't have something to smile about." The girl shrugged. "Let's eat, our food is getting cold."

Duo pouted but resumed eating anyway. This girl was very similar to Heero. She was so much like him that Duo thought she was the female version of Heero Yuy. Well, except that Heero was not as beautiful as her. Even when she wasn't smile, she looked stunning. Duo wondered what she looks like when she smiled. Maybe he should do something to get her smile.

They soon finished eating and walked out the door. Still not wanting to part with the beauty beside him, Duo took her hand. The girl looked at him in confusion. "I am so full. Let's take a walk for while, ne?" Duo felt the girl stared at him and he smiled. "Just a walk, it will not hurt."

The girl stared at him for some seconds before nodding. "Okay, let's walk."

Duo smiled happily and led the way. He didn't let go of the girl's hand and held it tighter instead. The girl didn't seem to mind, which made Duo more confident. They talked as they walked, discussing some common things. Duo found out the girl was very knowledgeable and smart. He could talk with her for hours without feeling bored or forced. She's very different compared to the other girls he had met. More mature and wiser.

The other girls liked to talk about themselves, how they looked, how nice their dresses were, but Duo haven't heard a vain word about herself from this girl. Usually by now, he would feel bored and be forced to smile or talk to the girls accompanying him, but not with this girl; he could talk freely about almost anything. And also, the girls around him liked to praise and dote on him, but again, this girl talked or showed none of those things. She spoke matter-of-factly and Duo felt himself fall for her deeper and deeper as they talked.

They came upon a park where many children were playing with the obstacles and equipments of the playground. Duo led the girl to a bench. "Wait here, I will buy some hot chocolates for us."

"I am not thirsty."

"I know." Duo held up the girl's hand. He had felt the girl trembling slightly for some minutes as the weather became colder. "But you are cold. You need something to warm your body. Wait here, okay?" He kissed the girl's hand and walked away before hearing her answer.

Duo found a small counter at the corner of the park and bought two cups of hot chocolate. He returned and stopped a couple of meters when he saw what the girl was doing. Instead of sitting on the bench, she was squatting in front of a five years old boy. The boy was crying loudly. Duo noticed she was holding a ball. She patted the little boy and lifted the ball in front of him. The boy stopped crying at once and snatched the ball. Without a word he ran back to where his friends were still playing.

The Deathscythe pilot felt a pang of pain as he watched the girl looked at the retreating boy longingly. He knew the look for he often saw it on his own face. It was a look of envy and loneliness. Silently he approached the girl but the girl noticed his presence and stood up. "Hi."

"Hi, this is your chocolate." Duo smiled and handed one cup to the girl.

"Thank you." The girl took it and sipped it slowly.

Duo sipped his chocolate too. "Feeling any warmer?"

The girl nodded and sipped her chocolate again while glancing towards to the kids.

Duo followed her gaze and smiled. "They reminded you of your childhood?"

The girl shook her head. "No. I just thought they are lucky."

"Lucky?"

"They are still untouched by war. They could still play, laugh, and cry like children are supposed to..." The girl trailed off as she kept watching the children.

" We were like that too when we were their age " Duo watched the children as well.

"............."

Duo frowned when the girl didn't reply. He looked at the girl who kept her gaze on the children. "You never played like them when you were a child?"

The girl shook her head.

"Why? Did your friends never ask you to join them?"

"I don't have any friends."

Duo frowned deeper. Her childhood might have been destroyed by the war, leaving her to defend and survive the cruel war by herself. No wonder she was so mature despite her young age.

"Don't you have any friends right now?"

"Well, there are some I consider as friends......."

Duo sensed a "but" at the end of the girl's sentence. "Why don't you ask them to play with you?"

"First, I am too old to play like this. Second, I don't know if all of them considered me as their friend."

Duo frowned again. How could anyone not want to befriend this beautiful girl? "I think they are stupid for not considering you as their friend."

"There are many reasons for them not to consider me as a friend, Duo. I am also to be blamed because I don't treat them well."

"What did you do to them?" Duo wondered what could this girl possibly do to make them angry with her.

The girl only shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. It was my mistake, not theirs."

Duo was disappointed but he didn't push the girl. "Okay then, but Hitoe..?"

The girl looked at him. "Yeah?"

Duo grinned. "You are not too old to play." The braided pilot took her hand and dragged her to a swing, which was abandoned by the children because it's situated a little too far from the other playground equipments. The swing set had only one chair and was based on a pool of sand.

"Duo. Stop."

"C'mon, it's just a swing. Have you ever tried it?"

"No, but it's for children."

"You are a child, Hitoe. C'mon! Sit here and let me handle it." Duo pushed her to sit on the swing.

Reluctantly, the girl sat and Duo asked her to put her hand on either sides of the swing. "Ready?"

"No."

Duo chuckled. "Don't be so nervous. This is just a swing." He gave a little pressure to the swing, causing it to rock back and ford a little. Noticing the girl beginning to relax, slowly Duo added more pressure to the swing. "See, it's safe. Do you like it?"

The girl nodded. "Feels like flying."

Duo chuckled louder. "How do you know what flying feels like? Humans can't fly, well except when you are an angel."

"I am not an angel, but I have flown a lot."

"Oh yeah? Try this." Duo pushed the swing harder, till the chair reached 45 degrees. The girl squawked, surprised, as she flew higher. Duo laughed and kept pushing for some minutes, then he pushed one last time, as hard as he could. As the girl squawked again at how high she was swung, Duo quickly positioned himself behind the swing and spread his arms apart as the girl swung back to him. "Welcome back to daddy."

The Deathscythe pilot hugged the girl from the back and pulled her from the swing when she reached the maximum height. He spun the girl a little and then stopped, steadying the girl on the ground but not letting go of the embrace.

"Not funny." The girl grunted.

"Uh hu, but it's exciting, ne?" Duo was really happy to be able to hug the girl and he nuzzled her neck. He felt the girl nod. "Like it?" The girl nodded again. "Let's try the other playthings then." Duo pulled the girl with him. They tried almost all the toys there were and sometimes the other children joined them, like on the seesaw, on the slide, and in a game of croquet.

Duo watched the girl all the time. She didn't laugh but she smiled sometimes and it was enough to make Duo fly for she looked like an angel when she smiled. But as the snow fell, they were forced to stop the game. The children had been fetched by their parents, leaving Duo and the girl alone in the park.

"I have to go home now." Duo bit his lips. He didn't want to go but he had to or the snow would be too thick to walk through. He needed 45 minutes to reach the safe house and it would be hard with the snow falling like this.

The girl looked at Duo. "Thank you very much. I have never been this happy before."

Duo smiled. Same as the girl, it had been a long time for him to feel this happy. "You are welcome."

"Here, your jacket." The girl raised her hand to remove the jacket but Duo quickly held her hand to stop her.

"It would be impolite for me to take the jacket and let you tremble in the cold."

"I will be okay."

"I don't think so. Keep it for now, I will get it back tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" The girl looked at Duo questioningly.

Duo smiled, this was his chance to meet the girl again. "Yeah, tomorrow at the same time and same place. Can you come?"

"I guess so."

"Good, do you want me to walk you home?"

The girl shook her head. "No need, I can make it."

"Okay, see ya tomorrow then." Acting on impulse, Duo leant forward and kissed the girl's cheek, then quickly walked away, bouncing happily.

The girl watched as Duo walked away until he was out of her sight and she slowly raised her hand, touching the cheek Duo kissed just now. "See ya, Duo...."


	3. Chapter 3

"I am home!" Though he was trembling, Duo shouted happily and shoved off the snow on his shoulders.

"Welcome home."

"Yo, Quatre, it's really cold out there." Duo felt something was missing from the perfect scene before him. Quatre was sitting lazily on the sofa near the fireplace with Trowa next to him. Their backs were facing him. Wufei occupied another sofa across from Quatre and Trowa's and was looking at him from the book he was reading. One person was missing.

"Where's Heero? Is he back from his mission yet?" Duo ran his eyes, searching for his Japanese companion. At night all of them usually sat in the living room, sharing stories about their missions and what had happened through out the day.

"I'm here." Came a reply.

"Huh?" Duo searched the room but can't find the owner of the voice. Then he saw Quatre pointed at the place in front of him. Duo walked forward and saw the Japanese pilot was huddling in front of the fireplace, covered in a blanket. "What are you doing there?"

"I'm cold. "

Duo made a face. It was no fun talking with Heero. Luckily Wufei helped elaborate. "Well, considering you were riding a motorcycle, on a snowy day like this, wearing nothing but a tank top and spandex, it's not surprising for you to be cold, Yuy." Wufei snorted.

So Heero just got back too, Duo mused. "Well, you know Heero is a superman, Wufei." The braided pilot grinned and plopped down next to the Japanese pilot, trying to warm himself with the heat from fireplace. "So what's new today, guys?"

"Well, we have nothing new to report since we stayed at the house all day, but I think you have something new to tell us, ne Duo?" Quatre smiled innocently.

Duo blinked. "Huh? Me? The only news I have is that I finished my mission yesterday."

"Yesterday? So what were you doing this afternoon, Maxwell." Wufei smirked.

"What do you mean, Wufei?" Duo felt uncomfortable and inched closer to Heero.

"Who is *she*, Duo?" Quarte spoke up

"She?" Duo gulped and cursed himself for being careless this morning.

"We know you met a girl this afternoon." Quatre grinned.

Duo bit his lower lip. "Uhm....I'm cold...let me get my sweater, okay?" The Deathscythe pilot started to stand only to be stopped by Trowa.

"No, you are not going anywhere, Duo."

"Huh? What do you mean, Trowa?"

"Trowa is right. The room is warm enough. If we let you go to your room, you will pretend to sleep and won't come back down here." Wufei smirked. "C'mon, spill it out, Maxwell."

"Yeah Duo, and besides you can ask Heero to share his blanket to warm you." Quatre smiled.

Duo pouted but plopped back on the rugged floor. He was not lying when he said he was cold but he knew his friends would not let him go. Surrendering to his fate, Duo sighed and tugged Heero's blanket. "Share, Heero?"

"Hn." Heero released one side of the blanket and welcomed Duo beside him. Duo quickly took the blanket and enveloped his cold body; his left shoulder was pressed against Heero's right one as he moved closer to the Japanese pilot. Inside, Duo was thankful that Heero didn't join the others in interrogating him, but he also felt slightly disappointed for God knows why.

As he felt the warmth Heero was willing to share with him, Duo looked at his grinning friends. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

"The name?" Quatre smiled.

"Hitoe."

"Hitoe?" Wufei raised one eyebrow. "Is she Japanese?"

"Yeah, that reminds me. Heero, what does Hitoe mean?"

"You can look it up in a dictionary." Heero stated flatly.

Duo made a face. "You're faster and more efficient than any dictionary. C'mon, tell me Heero or I will not let you sleep tonight."

".....Single...."

"Huh?"

"Hitoe means single."

Duo found the name really suited the girl. She looked lonely and Duo is willing to bet the girl chose her own name.

"What does she look like, Maxwell?" Duo felt Heero tense as Wufei asked the question and wondered what bothered the Japanese pilot.

"Well, she has shoulder length brown hair, a pointed nose, as well as a pointed chin, and her eyes, most of all her eyes, they're deep blue, and very beautiful." Duo smiled, picturing the girl in his mind.

"Whoa, look at you, Duo. You really fell for her, ne?" Quatre spoke.

"Of course Quatre, she's not like the other girls. She's smart, mature, sweet, modest, and beautiful." Duo smiled proudly.

"In other words Maxwell, she's perfect?" Wufei's question made the Japanese pilot tense again, but Duo was too happy to notice it.

"You can say that, Wufei. For me, she is perfect." Duo beamed happily. He couldn't wait to see Hitoe again. Quatre and Wufei continued to ask him questions until they called it a night.

* * *

Duo smiled as he rode to the city. This morning, he had managed to borrow the motorcycle from Heero. But the Japanese pilot seemed reluctant to lend the motorcycle to him. Strange. Heero never had any problems with him before when he asked to borrow his bike. Duo almost thought Heero was angry with him because after that, Heero went out, carrying a bag. But Duo dismissed the thought. Heero might have had a mission to be accomplished.

As he approached the promised place, Duo saw the girl sitting on the bench. He looked at his watch. 12:45 PM. Duo thought he was early but the girl was definitely earlier than him.

Duo stopped the bike in front of the girl and took off his helmet. "Hitoe."

The girl looked up, she was wearing a pastel blue shirt this time. "Hi, you're early."

"Well, so are you." Duo grinned and tossed another helmet to the girl. "Let's go."

"I thought you wanted to pick up your jacket?" The girl gestured to the jacket she held.

"Later, there's something I want to show you." Duo smiled as the girl hesitated. "I won't bite. I promise you'll like it."

"Very well." The girl put on the helmet and sat down behind Duo. Today she was wearing blue jeans so it was easy for her to mount the bike.

Duo grinned as the girl put her arms around his waist. "Hold on tight." He took off, the bike going at a high speed, causing the girl to grip his waist tightly. Duo smiled as he felt the girl press her head on his back. Too bad the girl didn't lean the rest of her body on his back too.

After riding for fifteen minutes, they came upon a lake. Duo stopped his motorcycle at the edge of the lake and took off his helmet. The girl followed suit and got off of the bike. She looked at the lake. It was oval and quite wide. The water was crystal blue, reflecting the sunlight. The area around the lake was surrounded by trees so if people didn't look carefully, they would miss the lake.

"You like it?"

The girl nodded and kept her gaze on the lake. "It's beautiful."

Duo looked at the girl. "You're more beautiful though."

The girl looked at Duo, surprised. She turned to the lake and approached the edge. "I'm not beautiful." Her cheeks were slightly red, indicating she was blushing. Duo longed to run his hand on those cheeks.

"Yes, you are. Didn't anyone ever say that to you?" Duo approached the girl.

The girl sat down on the grass near the lake and hugged her legs, staring at the lake. "No, you're the first one."

"Then trust me, you are really beautiful. I never lie." Duo wanted to hug the girl but he sat next to her instead.

".....Thank you." The girl put her hands on the grass and rested her weight on them, looking more relaxed.

"No need, I only state the truth." Duo smiled and followed the girl in staring at the lake. They sat in silence for some minutes. A comfortable silence. Duo enjoyed the girl's presence next to him and slowly his hand moved closer to the girl's hand.

He could feel the girl tense when he touched her hand, but she didn't pull away when Duo covered her hand with his. Duo released his breath, which he held unconsciously. They continued sitting in silence, staring at the lake as Duo caressed the girl's hand. He savored the feeling of her skin against his.

Duo was still not satisfied for he wanted to feel more of the girl. It was time to make a drastic move. Duo inched closer and squeezed the girl's hand. "Hitoe." He said the name tenderly.

The girl turned her head to him and looked squarely at his eyes. Duo looked back and locked gazes with her. Slowly, very slowly Duo leaned forward. The girl didn't move. She seemed to be charmed by Duo's violet eyes. As his face was an inch from the girl's, Duo closed his eyes, right after he saw her close hers. When his lips finally touched the girl's lips, Duo felt electricity run down his spine. He couldn't think of any words that could adequately describe how he felt right now.

Duo had kissed other girls before but never... he had never felt like this, he had never felt anything worth mentioning. But with Hitoe, this feeling he got from kissing her was fabulous. Her lips felt so soft under his, making Duo want to feel more of them.

He pressed his lips against her lips as his hand sneaked to the girl's waist to pull her closer to him. Honey, she tasted like honey, a honey flavored drug he wanted more and more of, he was addicted to the taste, to her.

Duo ran his tongue on the girl's lower lip and felt her mouth open, welcoming him home. Gratefully, he pushed his tongue into the girl's mouth, running it around the moist cavern and tasting her more and more.

She's really different from the other girls he had kissed. She let Duo explore her mouth as if it belonged to him and responded shyly with her tongue as he teased it with his. Duo had never felt anything as intensely as this. The girl kissed him back, but it wasn't in a demanding way, rather in a giving one.

But suddenly, the girl broke the kiss and pushed Duo away. Duo blinked and looked at the girl in confusion and hurt. "Hitoe?"

"I'm sorry Duo.." The girl bowed her head so Duo couldn't see her face.

"Why are you sorry?" Duo was really confused.

His hand was still around the girl's waist and Duo could feel the girl tremble when she spoke, "I think we shouldn't meet again."

Duo froze and unconsciously tightened his grip on the girl, not wanting to let her go. "Why?"

The girl just shook her head.

"Look at me, Hitoe." Duo spoke softly

But the girl refused to look at him. So Duo lifted her chin with his free hand, looking straight into her blue eyes.

"Do you hate me?"

The girl shook her head.

"Are you angry because I kissed you?"

Again, she shook her head.

"Do you like being with me?"

The girl nodded.

"Do you like my kiss?"

A pause but then the girl nodded while blushing slightly. Duo ran his hand and caressed the girl's cheek. "So why shouldn't we meet again?"

The girl's mouth opened but then closed.

"I want to be with you, Hitoe." Duo looked at the girl tenderly. "I think I've fallen in love with you."

Duo smiled as the girl widened her eyes in surprise and leant down to kiss her lightly. Then he pulled away and stared lovingly at the girl. "I love you, Hitoe."

The girl looked long at him until Duo began to worry if she had gone into shock. But then the girl spoke.

"We just met two days ago, how can you fall in love with me in that amount of time?"

Duo smiled. "Ever hear of 'love at first sight'?"

"You love my face." The girl smiled bitterly.

Duo was taken back by the answer. He never thought the girl would respond like that. "Well, I admit I was mesmerized by your face, but that isn't enough for me to fall in love with you. As I've spent time with you, getting to know you, I fell for you, and the more time I'm with you, being with you, I've fallen deeper for you."

The girl shook her head. " You don't know me, you can't possible know who I am."

Duo stilled the girl's head and looked at her tenderly. "You are Hitoe, an independent, kind, smart, gentle, brilliant, and tender girl, who has captured my heart."

"Brilliant, smart, and independent, maybe. But I am not gentle or tender, moreover kind." The girl still smiled bitterly.

"Yes, you are." Duo caressed the girl's cheek again. How he loved the way it felt against his calloused hand. " I saw you with the child at the park yesterday. You're a kind girl, Hitoe, though you may never admit that to yourself."

The girl pulled Duo's hand away from her cheek, stopping his caress. "I am not an innocent angel like you think I am, Duo. I can be anyone, a rogue, a killer, a wanted person, or even a whore. "

Duo tensed at the word 'whore'. He looked sharply at the girl. "Are you?"

"Huh?"

"Are you what you described just now?"

The girl smiled sadly. "Most of them are true."

Duo closed his eyes as the word 'whore' echoed inside his mind. He couldn't believe the fact that the girl in his arms right now has been through such a life. Then he heard the girl speak up again.

"It's okay if you don't want to meet me again. I understand that....." Duo didn't let the girl finish her sentence. He dove in and sealed the girl's lips with his, preventing her from speaking any further.

He kissed the girl long and desperately, embracing her tightly as if wanting to protect her from the evils of the world. Duo buried his head on the girl's shoulder and nuzzled her neck while murmuring, "I won't leave you, Hitoe. Never."

"You don't hate me?"

Duo pulled back and stared at the girl. "Why should I?"

"I have done many bad things, Duo."

"So have I." Duo smiled sadly. "Tell me Hitoe, did you like doing those things?"

The girl shook her head. "No, I did them because I was ordered to do them."

Duo gritted his teeth, angry that someone forced the girl to do those things. "It's okay Hitoe. I won't judge you for what you've done."

"You will feel disgusted and hate me when you know what I have done to be with you." The girl smiled sadly again.

Duo didn't want to know. The girl had suffered so much already; He would not let anybody make her suffer anymore. Again, he captured the girl's lips, plundering inside her mouth desperately as if wanting to erase the sadness and despair from the girl. The girl let Duo claim and explore her mouth, responding with her tongue.

Finally out of breath, Duo withdrew and buried his head in the girl's hair, hugging her tenderly. "I don't care Hitoe. I love you for who you are, not what you are. I love the person inside this beautiful body. You can believe me when I say I will never feel disgusted, let alone hate you."

"............"

Sensing the girl not believing him, Duo pulled away and stared squarely at her. "Hitoe. I love your spirit and your personality, not your physical body. "

"You can have any girl you want, someone who's beautiful and well-bred, someone suited to you, Duo. I can't make you happy."

"Don't you understand? I want you. You!" Duo tightened his grip along the girl's waist, desperate to convince the girl. "And you do make me happy! I feel whole, like I've finally found my home when I am with you."

How could he convince the girl that the only one he wanted right now was her? Her love and her heart? How can he make her believe she was the one for him and he was the one for her? Duo raised his hand and caressed the girl's cheek tenderly. "Let me love you, Hitoe."

"..........Will you promise me one thing?" The girl covered Duo's hand on her cheek with her own.

Duo smiled happily, "Anything!"

"Don't ask about my past or try to investigate my life. If you do that, I will be gone forever from you." The girl looked at him seriously.

Duo nodded; he also couldn't let the girl know about his life as a gundam pilot so he respected the girl's request. "All right. I won't do it."

"Okay then." The girl smiled, this time not a sad one, but a happy one. Duo would do almost anything to see that smile again. He was sure he could never let the girl go. No matter how hard the missions will be, he will find a way to be together with the girl. Slowly, he reached inside his shirt.

"Hitoe. If I ever have to leave you for sometime, this will be a reminder." Duo retrieved a cross necklace inside his shirt and put it around Hitoe's neck.

"Duo, this..." The girl touched the necklace.

"It was from Sister Helen. The most important thing that belongs to me, for it reminds me about the people who loved me. I give it to you as you are the person I love most."

"Love most?"

"Yeah, the one I want to spend my life with." Duo pulled the girl onto his lap and hugged her possessively. They sat like that, enjoying the scenery before them and the closeness between them, until the day turned dark.


	4. Chapter 4

Duo took Hitoe back to the city and promised to meet at the same time and same place tomorrow. Like the previous day, Hitoe refused to be walked home, so Duo had to settle for watching Hitoe walk away and leave him, well not before giving him another kiss of course. He didn't take his jacket from Hitoe since Duo intended to give it to the girl anyway.

Feeling happy, Duo decided to stop at a store and bought drinks for his friends at home. He will announce this new development in his life to his friends. Duo grinned like an idiot as he drove the bike to the edge of the city; he couldn't wait to see their reactions.

When he almost reached the edge of the city, Duo saw Heero walking towards the same destination. What stunned Duo was that the Japanese pilot wasn't wearing his usual clothing. Instead of his usual tank top and spandex, Heero was wearing a white turtleneck shirt and blue jeans.

So the Perfect Soldier finally felt cold, huh?. Duo grinned and stopped the bike right in front of Heero. "Need a ride, Heero?" Without waiting for an answer, Duo threw the helmet that Hitoe used before to his Japanese companion. Heero caught it with one hand since his other hand was holding his bag. He put it on and murmured a thank you.

As Heero mounted the bike, Duo felt a familiar feeling; the same feeling from when Hitoe sat behind him before. Duo smiled at the thought of the girl. "Ready, Heero?"

A snort came as a reply. Duo grinned and took off at a high speed. As he increased the speed, Duo felt Heero's hand tighten around his waist. Again, he smiled. This situation reminded him of Hitoe, making him feel like she was riding with him right now. Duo wondered whether it was the Japanese heredity between Hitoe and Heero that made them similar in behavior and attitude.

* * *

"Are we going to have a party here, Duo?" Quatre greeted Duo and Heero as Duo walked in with a plastic bag full of drinks. Heero walked pass him and quickly went to their room to put his bag away then joined them back in the living room.

"Well, you can say that Quatre. " Duo winked and gave the drinks to his friends. "My treat."

"What game do you wan to play now, Maxwell?" Wufei eyed the drinks suspiciously but took them nonetheless.

Duo gave a mocking expression of being hurt. "Not a game, Wufei. I want to celebrate something tonight."

"And what may that be?" Wufei raised one eyebrow and sat down on the sofa he sat the day before.

"Well, there are two things to celebrate to be exact." Duo smirked from the sofa he sat on and gave a look to his Japanese companion, who sat beside him. "First, to celebrate the day when Heero decided his tank top and spandex were indeed too thin for this cold weather."

"Hn." Heero snorted but didn't say anything to deny it.

"Looks like I'm right." Duo grinned. " But of all the possible things to trade your tank top for, why a turtleneck, Heero? You look like Trowa with that white turtleneck and jeans, you know."

"I don't want my neck to be cold." Heero's answer surprised Duo for he didn't expect the Japanese pilot to response to his teasing.

"Ever heard of a scarf, Heero?"

"Not efficient."

Duo made a face. Heero can be really irritating sometimes, and and why did he have this feeling that if Hitoe were asked the same question, she would answer just like Heero did? The braided pilot thought it was very possible for Heero and his girl to be brother and sister, judging from their similarities in personalities and physiques. But the thought was quickly interrupted by Quatre.

"Okay, what's the second reason for celebrating, Duo?" Quatre smiled. He and Trowa had settled down on the sofa, holding their glasses. The Arabian pilot could guess what had happened to the American pilot, judging from how cheerful he was. "Does this have any connections with the Japanese girl you met today?"

"Well..........She's my girl, now." Duo smiled and waited for his friends' reaction.

Quatre smiled. "It figures." Duo opened his mouth in surprise. He looked at the others' reactions. Wufei only snorted, Trowa nodded, and Heero ......

The Japanese boy lifted his glass. "Congratulations."

Duo smiled and lifted his own glass, clinking his with Heero's. "Thanks, man." Duo drank half the glass and then looked at his other friends. "You aren't surprised?? Damn, and here I thought I'd see some funny expressions from you guys."

"Not a chance, Maxwell. But may I know how did you get her to agree to be with a talkative and annoying person like you."

"Thank you for the praise." Duo stuck his tongue out mockingly, knowing Wufei was only teasing him. "I kissed her, Chang. What else?"

The Chinese pilot coughed for a moment and then he blushed slightly. "Your mouth isn't only fast in speaking but also fast in action, Maxwell. I hope she didn't slap you for that."

"Oh, on the contrary, Wufei. She liked it. I know that for she let me kiss her again and again." Duo smirked when the Chinese pilot blushed more.

"Dishonorable American......" Wufei muttered weakly.

"Hey, I heard that." Duo jumped and knocked Wufei from his chair. "You'll see how dishonorable I am." The Deathscythe pilot grinned and tickled Wufei until the Chinese pilot was out of his breath. Quatre giggled and snuggled closer to Trowa, watching his two friends wrestling on the floor.

However in his wrestling, Duo missed the look that Heero gave him. He was so focused in the wrestling that he didn't notice his Japanese companion touch his chest tenderly, feeling something beneath the shirt. And the others didn't seem to notice the gesture too, except for a certain pilot who studied the Japanese pilot from the corner of his eyes.

* * *

The days passed in a blur of happiness for a certain American. He met his girl everyday, spending some time together at the lake when he managed to borrow the bike from Heero, talking, playing, and of course kissing. Duo liked kissing the girl. Not a day passed without a kiss. He would kiss the girl whenever and wherever he wanted and the girl didn't seem to mind. She would open her mouth and let Duo in, kissing him back passionately.

But the happiness didn't last forever.

A week after he first met the girl, Duo received his next mission. The braided pilot cursed as the mission required him to leave the safe house right away. He would have to tell Hitoe about this, Duo mused about his girl while packing his clothes.

He frowned when he noticed his bag had worn out. Time to buy a new one but meanwhile, he would have to borrow Heero's bag. The American pilot rummaged around the closet and saw Heero's green tank top. He stopped his search and touched the shirt, finding himself missing seeing Heero wearing it. Heero had kept wearing the white turtleneck despite if the weather was cold or not. He often teased Heero for that, but the Japanese pilot only snorted and dismissed him.

Anyway, back to his original purpose. Where was the bag?? Duo searched to no avail in the closet. Heero must have put it somewhere else. Duo knew that he should have waited and asked Heero for permission first, but then again if he waited, he couldn't tell Hitoe about his departure. And God knows when the Perfect Soldier would be back from whatever he was doing. So Duo took the liberty and explored the room, trying to find the bag.

He finally found the bag under the bed. Duo pulled it out and noticed the bag wasn't empty. Running out of time, Duo decided to dump the contents onto Heero's bed. Heero would understand. Without looking at the contents on the bed, Duo quickly put his belongings in the bag, still thinking about his girl and how he would miss her.

When done with his preparations, Duo took his bag and walked to the door. He glanced once again around the room, making sure that he didn't miss anything and that was when his eyes fell onto the contents on Heero's bed.

The bag in his hand fell heavily to the floor with a loud thump as Duo acknowledged the contents. "What's the meaning of this?" Duo's voice wavered as he approached the bed. There on the bed were the clothes he had seen Hitoe wear. As Duo stood at the bed's side, he saw his jacket among the clothes. It was the jacket he gave to Hitoe and on top of the clothes, Duo saw a wig, a brown shoulder length wig. The American pilot took the wig and stared at it. "This is Hitoe's ...." Duo was really confused and surprised. Why did Heero have all of Hitoe's clothes? And most of all, why did Hitoe wear a wig? Was she bald or something?

Suddenly the door was opened and Duo looked up to see his Japanese companion standing at the entrance. Heero's eyes widened as he saw Duo holding the wig; his mouth opened but nothing came up. And that was when all the pieces of puzzle inside Duo's head began to form a complete picture.

Hitoe had a bruise on her shoulder and Heero also had one on his. Hitoe was cold and Heero was cold too. Heero started wearing a turtleneck shirt on the day Duo gave Hitoe his cross. All Hitoe's gestures felt familiar as if he had known her for a long time. No wonder because Hitoe was Heero!!! Hitoe was his Japanese companion, the Perfect Soldier Heero Yuy in disguise!!!!!

Duo felt anger welt up inside him, accompanied with hurt. Anger for being tricked and hurt for being betrayed. Hitoe was just an illusion, created by his Japanese partner. Of course, who else can pull off being the perfect girl, except for the Perfect Soldier? Duo chuckled. He had fallen for Heero's game.

"Duo.." Duo looked up and saw Heero standing in front of him, unsure of what to do. "I...."

"Nice wig, Heero. Or should I say Hitoe?" Duo cut Heero, talking in cold tone. And Duo wasn't disappointed to see the Perfect Soldier flinch at the tone of his voice. "So this was your game? Your revenge at me for teasing you?" Duo stepped forward while Heero took a step back.

"Duo, I.."

"Congratulations, Yuy. You managed to make me look like an idiot. I even professed my love to an imaginary girl. Oh, no, I've professed my love to you, an emotionless bastard." Duo threw the wig at Heero who didn't make any attempt to catch it and let it hit his face.

As the wig fell to the floor, Duo snapped again. "Very nice disguise, Yuy. You played your part very well, making me feel so happy, so comfortable, and so in love. You talked nicely to me while inside you laughed at me, didn't you? You laughed at how easily I've fallen for you. You even opened your greedy mouth to receive my kisses. I bet you'll open your mouth to anyone, won't you, whore?"

Duo felt satisfied as Heero flinched at his harsh words. Heero had hurt him deeply and now the Perfect Soldier was going to pay for it! "Yes, you're a whore, aren't you? Just like you said at the lake. A killer, a rogue, a scoundrel, and a whore! I've made a mistake when I saved you on that cursed night. You were enjoying yourself with those men, weren't you? Well, forgive me for stopping them. I should have let them have their way with you, slut!"

Out of breath, Duo panted. Heero had bowed his head in the middle of his harsh words. Was he hurt by Duo's words? Duo didn't care; he was hurt, hurt very deeply. He had thought he had found his mate, his life partner and even imagined about living together. But all of them were just imaginations.

Duo chuckled again. "Come to think of it, Hitoe never said she loved me, ne? You enjoyed every time I said my love to you, feeling smugly that you already captured my heart, didn't you? Well, Hitoe," Duo spat it sarcastically, "I'm going to finish a mission, sweetheart. I'd thought that I would miss you, that I'd be far from you know, but now I think I'm grateful for that." Duo took a breath and said his final words. "You can go and find another victim for your game. I won't fall for you again, whore."

The American pilot left the room, slamming the door loudly and racing towards his hidden Gundam. He took off at a high speed, trying to leave the safe house as fast as he could. Meanwhile in the bedroom, the Japanese boy was still standing, head bowed. As the sound of the engine faded and left him in silence, he reached inside his shirt and retrieved a silver cross. No sound was heard as one crystal tear fell on the cross.

The dream was over.


	5. Chapter 5

//"I don't have something to smile about."//

Duo cursed as he attacked the OZ ships. Instead of seeing Heero's smirk and mocking smile as he slice through each ship, the Deathscythe pilot found himself replaying all of Hitoe's words since they first met.

//"Thank you very much. I've never been this happy before."//

Hitoe's words kept echoing in his mind as he cut down some ships in half.

//"I'm sorry Duo.."//

Duo gasped as one ship managed to attack his back. He turned and sliced the ship with his scythe.

//"You love my face."//

"Damn you, Yuy!" Duo cried out and controlled Deathscythe wildly, sending all the ships in his way to the bottom of ocean.

// "I'm not an innocent angel like you think I'm, Duo."//

The Deathscythe moved as efficient as ever, destroying more and more ships.

//"It's okay if you don't want to meet me again. I understand that....."//

Finally the last ship had been destroyed. Duo panted inside Deathscythe. No matter what he did, the image of a smiling Hitoe kept coming back into his mind. Her soft voice, her happy expression, and the sensation when he kissed those soft lips. Duo reminded himself that it was Heero all the time, but still he found he missed his Hitoe. And it had only been two days since his departure.

//"You don't hate me?" //.................

Duo stared out to the ocean far away. He was confused.........and angry....All Hitoe's words were true.....

* * *

After completing his mission on the sixth day, Duo finally flew Deathscythe back to the hidden cave near the safe house. He still wasn't sure about what to do with a certain Japanese pilot. He had spent six days inside Deathscythe, rarely eating or sleeping. All he could think was Hitoe and Hitoe. Her words kept ringing, repeating itself like a litany inside his mind.

It was past midnight when he arrived at the safe house. Duo trotted up to his room. Heero's room. Duo drew his breath, unsure of what to do. He couldn't predict what the Japanese pilot's reaction would be once he saw him. Slowly, he opened the door and walked in.

Duo held his breath as he acknowledged Heero lying on the bed, sleeping. Still confused about his own feelings, Duo approached the sleeping boy. He stood next to the bed and stared at the sleeping figure wrapped and covered from the neck down by a blanket. Heero's face was pale under the moonlight that fell from the window. He was breathing regularly through his pointed nose. Duo ran his eyes over the Japanese pilot's face. How much he missed this face, those soft lips, and the delicate cheeks he used to caress tenderly. He missed his Hitoe.

The braided pilot unconsciously raised his hand and touched the sleeping boy's cheek. Duo watched the face. It was Hitoe's. Hitoe's nose, Hitoe lips, Hitoe's chin, Hitoe's eyes. This was his Hitoe. The blue eyes opened slowly as he caressed the cheek and blinked in confusion at him. How he missed those beautiful eyes. His fingers trailed from the soft cheek to the lips. They were opened slightly as the owner seemed confused and surprised at Duo's action.

Duo felt drawn into those blue eyes as he leaned down and captured the delicate lips, replacing his fingers. Ah, Hitoe, his Hitoe. How he missed tasting her. Those lips opened as Duo ran his tongue on them, granting him access. Hitoe always let him inside, let him claim and tease the shy tongue inside and this time was no exception either. Duo sighed in satisfaction as he explored the moist cavern. He sucked and licked every inch of it, savoring the sensation he had missed for six days.

When he felt his lungs were on fire, Duo broke the kiss and stared at the lovely face. Those blue eyes were still staring at him in confusion and disbelief as a hand came up and touched Duo's face, as if trying to convince the owner that this wasn't a dream. The hand caressed Duo's cheek slowly and Duo leaned into the caress, closing his eyes.

Then a voice came up, breaking the serene moment they shared. "Duo..."

The voice....it was low and heavy. Hitoe's voice was lighter than this. It wasn't Hitoe's voice! Duo's eyes snapped open. His mind finally registered it was Heero that he kissed. It had always been Heero. Duo felt the anger rose inside him again. He had fallen into Heero's game again. He had kissed Heero again despite all the words he had said before he left the safe house. And being like a whore he was, Heero accepted his kiss again, opening his greedy mouth easily. The anger became stronger as Duo imagined the mocking smirk Heero would give him. A triumphant smirk. All right then if Heero wanted to play, he would play.

Duo caught the hand on his cheek and pinned it on the bed at the same level with Heero's head. He dropped his weight, sitting on Heero's torso and pinning the boy. "You like to be kissed, don't you whore?"

"Duo?" The voice sounded confused at the sudden change.

"How many men had fallen into your game, slut? I bet you open your mouth for them too. Well, if you want a kiss, I'll give you a kiss you deserve, whore." Duo leaned down and ravished the Japanese pilot's lips. This time there was no gentleness in the kiss. It was a kiss that was meant to hurt, to inflict pain. Duo poured all of his anger into the kiss, biting down on every surface he met with his teeth and tasting the sweet metallic blood. He thrust his tongue roughly into Heero's mouth, sucking and licking it ferociously as if wanting to draw all the air out of the Japanese boy. Duo even bit the tongue that tried to push his tongue away.

"Hmmph.." Duo felt Heero try to push him away with his free hand and turn his head to the side to avoid his kiss. This only resulted in angering him more. Breaking the kiss, Duo raised his hand and brought it down fast to meet Heero's left cheek. The resounding smack broke into the silence of the night.

Duo panted; his anger had blinded him. But he was shocked when he heard the loud smack echoing throughout the room. He could feel his hand throb in pain from the slap and slowly his anger subsided. Finally, he realized what he had done once his eyes fell on Heero's red cheek. He ran his eyes to check the Japanese boy's condition. His head had been thrown to the side by the force of the blow. Heero's eyes were wide open but didn't focus to any certain points. Then, Duo saw the bleeding and tortured lips.

The American pilot felt dizzy looking at the results of his anger. He never thought he would attack and ravish his partner like this. And what worried him the most was that Heero wasn't moving. He lay as still as a rock. One of the Japanese pilot's hands was still pinned by one of his, while the other one lay lifelessly by the side of his pinned body. Slowly, Duo released the pinned hand and moved his weight off of Heero to sit on the bed.

Heero still didn't move. The Japanese boy seemed to be afraid to move, like he would be hurt again if he moved. For the first time in his life, Duo felt lost. He didn't know what to do or what to say. Then his eyes caught something glint on Heero's chest. Their struggling had shoved the blanket down and revealed the bare chest of the Japanese pilot. Duo stared at the shimmering item. It was his cross.

Duo looked back at the Japanese pilot's face and was stabbed with guilt when he noticed the pain and hurt held within those beautiful eyes. His head throbbed painfully as the dizziness attacked him and his body couldn't stand the lack of sleep and food any longer. Duo fell forward and heard Hitoe's voice one last time before he blacked out.

//"Love most?" //

* * *

The Japanese pilot watched as his American partner rested uneasily on his bed, tossing and turning every few minutes. He raised his hand and touched his own cheek, feeling the pain there. His eyes kept on the restlessly figure on the bed, watching him long after coming to a decision.

* * *

Dark.....and hot...where was he? Duo opened his eyes and saw walls of fire in front of him. He ran away, trying to escape the hot walls, but the walls seemed to follow him wherever he went. He ran and ran, never stopping. Then he came to a dead end. Duo turned and saw the walls getting closer and felt his sweat sliding down rapidly over his body as his surrounding became hotter.

Then he felt something cold on his forehead. He looked up and saw a boy with blue eyes extending his hand. Duo quickly caught the hand and felt his body being pulled up, leaving the heated environment. The boy pushed him toward a light. As he entered the light, Duo felt his hand being released. He looked back and saw the boy standing in the dark, smiling sadly. Duo extended his hand but the boy shook his head. As the light engulfed him, Duo heard the boy uttering one word.

Sayonara.


	6. Chapter 6

Duo opened his eyes and quickly shut them closed as the brightness assaulted them.

"Duo, can you hear me?"

"Hmm, Heero?" Duo slowly opened his eyes. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he could see someone bend over him.

"No, it's me, Quatre." Duo finally could see clearly. He looked at Quatre. Trowa was beside the blond, studying him. Duo was then aware of his surroundings. He was on his bed. What was he doing here?

"Hn, you are finally awake, Maxwell." The American pilot turned his head and saw Wufei walked in, bringing a bowl of soup. "Here, eat this."

Duo realized then that he was very hungry. With Quatre's help, Duo managed to sit up and lean against the headboard. He then took the bowl from Wufei and quickly ate it. As he ate, Duo noticed Wufei taking a seat on Heero's bed. Trowa was leaning against the wall across from his bed and Quatre sat on his bed with him. Something was missing. No, someone was missing.

"Where's Heero?"

"He went out this morning. What happened, Duo?" Quatre answered.

Duo frowned. What had happened?? He seemed to be forgetting something big. Let's see....Heero....Suddenly the image of Heero, redden cheek and bleeding mouth, flashed in his mind and Duo remembered. "Heero!" He shouted and straightened his body, almost spilling his soup in the process. "Where is he, Quatre? Is he okay?"

"I don't know where he is, Duo. Calm down. And what do you mean by asking if he is okay?" Quatre began to worry.

"I ...I...." Duo couldn't bring himself to tell his friends what had he done to Heero. "Didn't you see his face, Quatre??"

Quatre frowned. "I haven't seen him since last night, Duo. This morning, when I came out from my room, I found a note on my door. It was from Heero, here read it." Quatre pulled out the note from his pocket.

Duo snatched the paper right away and began to read it.

Quatre, Duo had a fever last night.   
Don't worry, his fever had ceased   
this morning, but I can't stay with   
him, so I hope you will take care   
of him.  
Heero  
  
His hands trembled as he read the letter. The American pilot had this feeling that he would never see Heero again. Duo put down the letter and looked at his comrades. "He didn't tell you where he went?" As the three shook their heads, Duo's face fell miserably.

"What had happened, Duo? Is Heero okay?" Quatre was really worried now.

"I don't know, Quatre. I don't know." Duo shook his head. He was worried about Heero but he didn't know what to do right now. What would he tell Heero? And how could he explain his behaviors to Heero if he was confused with them himself?

"You had known it, didn't you?" Trowa's voice penetrated Duo's ears. The braided pilot looked up and saw Trowa looking at him in his usual expressionless manner.

"What?"

"You know who Hitoe really is, don't you?"

Duo widened his eyes. "You know?"

Trowa nodded and looked at Wufei. Duo followed Trowa and looked at Wufei, confused. He couldn't believe it when Wufei nodded and spoke up, "I know too, Maxwell."

"You both know?" Duo spoke weakly.

"I know too, Duo." Duo looked at the blond in front of him in disbelief.

"How?" The word was spoken in despair.

"I had my suspicion when I noticed that every time you went out to meet Hitoe, Heero also disappeared from the safe house. And then later Trowa convinced me of my suspicion."

Duo looked at Trowa questioningly. "I knew it on the day Heero started wearing his turtleneck shirt. I saw him caressing something beneath his turtleneck when he thought no one was paying attention to him. Did you give him your cross?"

Duo nodded weakly and turned to Wufei.

"I knew it when you told us her name." The Chinese pilot said, then he noticed the confused look on Duo's face and explained further. "I studied Japanese years ago. Same as Hitoe, which means 'single', Heero means 'one' and judging from his reaction as I asked you about the girl's feature, I was convinced that the girl was Heero."

The Deathscythe pilot slumped back against the headboard and let out a despairing laugh. " So it was only me who didn't recognized that she was really him? How stupid....."

"But you know now. How did you found out, Duo?" Quatre asked, half afraid of the unpredictable reaction he would get.

"I found his wig." Duo smiled bitterly and looked at his friends as anger began to rise inside him again. "I don't believe this. You knew about this the entire time and yet you didn't tell me? I thought we were friends!"

"We are. And that's why we didn't tell you." Trowa spoke up.

Duo looked sharply at Trowa. "What do you mean?"

" You were so happy, and so was Heero. I caught him smiling once, Duo." Quatre decided to help his lover.

An image of Hitoe smiling at him flashed in Duo's mind. The American pilot bowed his head. "You know that this could not last forever."

"We know. Either you would recognize she was Heero or Heero would tell you. But when it does happen, we wished you two would have realized your feelings for each other." Quatre answered.

Duo looked at Quatre bitterly. "Why do you think that I have feelings for him, Quatre?"

Quatre was surprised. "You don't?"

Duo looked away. "I only think of him as my friend."

"No, you don't." Trowa spoke up, making Duo look at him in surprised. " Your feelings toward him are more than mere friendship." When Duo wanted to protest, Trowa held up his hand, gesturing Duo to stop. "Hear me out first, then you can say whatever you want."

Duo closed his mouth, biting his lower lip, and started a staring contest with Trowa. After several minutes, the American pilot finally nodded his head in agreement.

"Okay, I will point to you some facts you didn't realize. Tell me if I am right or wrong in my observations. First things first, are you opposed to relationships between individuals of the same gender?"

"If I was, I wouldn't be staying with you and Quatre."

"True. So, have you realized that you, yourself, don't have any objections in being part of a homosexual relationship?"

As Duo nodded, Trowa took a comfortable pose before continuing with the rests of his questions.

"Every time you have to share a room, you want it to be with Heero, right?"

Duo nodded.

"Every time you need a partner, you will ask for him, right?"

Duo nodded again.

"If you only see the three of us, you will ask where Heero is, right?"

Again, Duo nodded.

"If we sit down in the living room, you will always sit next to Heero, right?"

Duo nodded. Trowa took a breath, taking a further step in his questions.

"Whenever you come home, the first thing you will do is search for Heero, yes?"

Duo thought about that for awhile and then nodded weakly.

"You will feel something was missing if Heero wasn't with you?"

Duo nodded.

"Do you feel happy when you see him, when he is around you?"

Again, a nod. Trowa swallowed, these were the last steps.

" Did you look for the similarities between Hitoe's and Heero's feature?"

Surprised, Duo looked at Trowa. When he saw Trowa looking seriously at him, Duo nodded his head again.

"Did you realize Hitoe and Heero act very similar?"

Duo nodded.

"Did you ever imagine you were with Heero while you were with Hitoe or vice versa?"

This time, Duo bit his lower lip before nodding.

"Do you want Hitoe to be with you all the time?"

Duo nodded.

"Do you care for Hitoe?"

Again a nod.

"Do you want Hitoe in your life?"

Duo nodded again.

"Do you love her?"

Duo looked at Trowa again, surprised and slightly angry but Trowa looked at him calmly. "Okay I rephrase a bit. Did you love her?" Bitting his lips, Duo nodded.

"Do you care for Heero?"

Duo nodded.

Final question, Trowa prayed that Duo could answer it. "Do you love Heero?"

Duo didn't nod.

"Duo? Do you?"

Duo still didn't nod, making Trowa feel disappointed as the braided pilot still denied his feelings.

"Duo?"

Duo shook his head. "I don't know Trowa, I really don't know."

Trowa sighed. He had done what he could. It was up to Duo now. "This is your decision. I can't help you anymore."

Quatre spoke up. "You loved Hitoe. Why can't you love Heero?"

Duo smiled bitterly. "Quatre, even if I do love him, I think it is too late for that. He must hate me right now........ After what had I done to him."

"What did you do to him?" Quatre feared that he didn't want to know the answer.

Still smiling bitterly, Duo answered. "What do you think, Quatre?"

At that moment, his uchuu no kokoro gave the Arabian an image of what Duo was picturing in his mind. An image of Heero lying on the bed with a red cheek and bleeding mouth. The blond one gasped. "Oh Allah. You didn't ...."

Duo nodded. "Yes, I did. I hurt him, Quatre. I bit his lips until they were bleeding and I slapped him, hard. I also said many harsh words to him, trying to hurt him like he hurt me."

Wufei eyed the American pilot. He was shocked by everything Duo recounted to have done to the Japanese, but he kept his disapproval to himself when he saw the despair in those violet eyes. He knew the American pilot regretted everything he had done. "What did you do to him after that, Maxwell??"

"Huh?" Duo looked at Wufei.

"After you beat him, what did you do? Left him?"

"I don't know, Wufei. I fainted after I realized what had I done to him. And when I woke up, I saw Quatre and Trowa beside me."

Wufei contemplated for a minute before he spoke up, "Maxwell, if he hated you, he would not have taken care of you while you sick with a fever, or asked Quatre to look after you. Why do you think he left only after you broke your fever? No matter what happened, he would make sure of your safety first."

"Well, he could have done that because I am a gundam pilot. He needs my help to complete his missions, and after all, accomplishing the missions is his top priority." Duo spoke sarcastically.

Wufei didn't answer. He just looked at the American pilot who looked back at him squarely. After one minute of staring, the braided pilot looked away. That was when Wufei spoke up, "You know that is not true. You are his top priority, Maxwell."

"Oh yeah? Why did he leave then? He doesn't want to see me, that's why." Duo still tried to debate, though deep inside his heart, he knew the truth. Heero left him not because of a mission.

"I think I have a suspicion as to why he left you." Trowa spoke up.

"Why, Trowa?" Quatre also wanted to know why Heero left Duo.

Trowa shook his head. "It's just my suspicion. I think you will find the answer here, Duo." Trowa held up a sealed envelope. He walked to Duo and gave it to the braided pilot. "I found it on Heero's bed. It's for you."

Duo quickly tore the envelope and took out the paper inside. As he read through the words, Duo felt wave after wave of pain stab his heart and regretted every harsh word he had said.  
  
Duo, I know you feel disgusted and hate   
me. But at least please read this letter.   
With this letter, I want to tell you what   
I can't say verbally.

You can blame me for everything I have   
done. But I want you to know that I am   
really thankful for this past week. You   
made me feel cared for and loved and gave   
me some childhood memories. It was the   
happiest week in my life.

I understand that you are angry and will   
hate me for life. You have every right to  
hit me because I am not sorry for tricking   
you into this. But I never thought I would   
hurt you this bad. You are wrong, I can't   
make you happy.

As you wish, I will not bother you anymore.   
You will not see me or hear from me again   
for I will have Dr J assign me to single   
missions. Please tell Trowa, Quatre, and   
Wufei that I care and respect them.

...even with a letter, I can't bring myself   
to write all I wanted to say to you. Only   
three words but still I can't say nor write   
it. I am really sorry that Hitoe could   
never say those words to you. But then   
again this is my last chance so I will try   
it.

.....Aishiteru Duo. You may not want to   
know the meaning. It's nothing, just   
wanting to prove that I can write it, that   
I still could feel. You can ignore it.

Heero

PS : I hope you will meet a girl who   
deserves to wear the cross. Thank you for   
letting me wear it if only for a moment.   
I just.....I ....motto.....motto soba ni   
itai, Duo.........

The cross! Unconsciously, Duo ran his hand over his chest and felt the metal beneath his clothes. He took it out slowly and brought his head down to the metal. It was his cross, the one he put on Hitoe, the one he saw on Heero's chest. As he stared at the cross on his hand, Duo could hear his conversation with Hitoe echoing in his mind.

//"Love most?" //

//"Yeah, the one I want to spend my life with."//

//"You will feel disgusted and hate me when you know what have I done to be with you."//

Duo felt something wet at the corner of his eyes. It slid down his cheek and fell on the cross. The braided pilot wiped the tear away from the cross and caressed it for some time. Heero knew the consequence when his identity was revealed but he still.......

//I can't make you happy.//

"He left because he thought he had hurt me and because he thought I didn't like boys." Duo murmured and then looked at Trowa, who nodded in return. The tall pilot understood how Heero felt for he too once felt like that towards Quatre. He would rather die than see Quatre hurt because of his feelings for him. Luckily, Quatre had told him his feelings first and they ended happily. But Duo was not Quatre and the braided pilot didn't understand his own feelings. This was a problem. A problem that might not be able to end happily.


	7. Chapter 7

Duo walked away aimlessly from the safe house. His friends had left him to think and contemplate his feelings for a certain Japanese pilot and he quickly decided to get some fresh air to calm his mind.

The American pilot realized that he considered Heero more than a friend. But still he wasn't sure whether he could think of Heero as his lover. And moreover Heero never told or did anything to indicate he has feelings for him.

He had wondered why Heero had kept his disguise when he knew Duo would be angry with him. But then, Duo found the answer to that once he asked Wufei the meaning of the Japanese words in Heero's letter. And now the said words kept echoing inside him as he walked, feeling the cold wind against his face.

Aishiteru, Duo.............I love you, Duo..............

Heero loved him. Despite the fact that they are from the same gender. Despite all the harsh words thrown to his face. Despite how he had hit and beaten the Japanese boy. Heero loved him nevertheless.

Motto soba ni itai............. want to be with you a little longer............

That was why Heero continued wearing the disguise. As Hitoe, he could be with Duo, could touch and kiss him without fear of being rejected.

Duo never thought love could be so strong. It was love that made Heero willing to wear girl clothes so he could meet Duo. It was love that made Heero take care of his fever though he was hurt himself. And it was love that made Heero leave him, not wanting to hurt him.

As he walked, Duo felt his eyes sting and the road before him became blurry. He recalled the week he had been with Hitoe. Hitoe never demanded or asked anything from him. The girl had been happy just to have Duo with her and whatever Duo wanted, she would give him. Duo wanted her caress, she gave it. Duo wanted her kiss, she gave it. Duo wanted her love, she gave it. She gave it without asking for anything in return.

Duo knew he loved Hitoe. But...still .......did he love Heero?

A cry snapped Duo from his thought. He looked around and saw a little girl crying. His feet had unconsciously brought him to the park where he and Hitoe played a week ago. Duo looked at the girl and felt déjà vu as he watched someone squatted in front of her. The person was wearing a black jacket, which Duo recognized as his. The person's back was facing him so Duo couldn't see the face.

Duo stared at the squatting person, who was patting the girl's head now. The girl stopped crying and smiled a bit at the person. Then a woman shouted and ran towards their direction. The girl's face brightened and ran to meet the woman, who was her mother. Duo saw the woman smiled her thank you to the person and the girl waved her little hand as her mother took her home. The person waved back slightly and then stood up. The snow had fallen down again, leaving the person and Duo alone in the middle of the playground.

Actually, without looking at the face, Duo had known who the person was. The gestures and the way the person moved were too familiar for him not recognize. But still Duo held his breath as the person turned his head to the side, revealing one side of his face. The nose, the lips, the eyes....the deep blue eyes.......they belonged to Hitoe......to Heero.....

//"You are Hitoe, an independent, kind, smart, gentle, brilliant, and tender girl, who had captured my heart."//

As Duo heard his own voice inside his mind, he watched the Japanese pilot gaze towards the swing. The eyes seemed so far away as if the owner was not inside the body. Slowly, the Japanese pilot approached the swing; eyes never left it.

Duo didn't know why, but he could feel the loneliness and despair encompassing the Asian boy as he lowered himself on the swing and rocked it slightly. Heero looked like a lost child with his shoulders slumped down and head bowed like that. Like a child who never expected to be picked up by his parents. A child who knew he was left there, abandoned and alone.

//"I will not leave you, Hitoe. Never."//

His own words stabbed Duo in the heart. He wanted to go there, to comfort Heero, but still he found that he couldn't move a muscle. Something was stopping him and Duo didn't know what it was. He only could watch as Heero rocked the swing faster and faster. It went higher and higher and then Duo saw Heero let go of the swing. The Japanese boy was thrown away backward by the momentum of the swing.

If this scene had been the scene on the second day Duo met Hitoe, there would be a pair of arms that would catch the flying body and hugged it tightly and protectively. But then, this was not that day so there weren't any arms that would catch the flying body. A thud was heard as Duo watched Heero landed on the snow covered sand pool, back first.

For a moment, time seemed to stop still. Heero didn't move and neither did Duo. Inside, Duo screamed, ordering his body to move and look to see whether the Japanese boy was hurt or not. But something seemed to nail him to the ground still.

The braided pilot didn't know how long he had stared or how long Heero had lain there. Finally, Heero moved and sat up. Duo watched as the Japanese pilot once again walked to the swing and sat down, rocking it slightly as if repeating the previous action.

No, Duo didn't want to see it again. Heero was hurting himself, trying to convince himself that everything that had happened in that week would never happen again. It was merely a dream.

//"I love for who you are, not what you are."//

The swing rocked faster.....

//"I love the person inside this beautiful body."//

and faster......

//"Hitoe. I love your spirit and your personality, not your physical body. "//

The last sentence snapped at Duo. Yes, he loved the person inside. The spirit and the personality, not the body. So what if his Hitoe was a boy? It was still Hitoe nevertheless. The spirit and the personality were still there, inside a Japanese boy named Heero Yuy. The clothes and hair were fake, but Hitoe is very real, closer to the truth than the Perfect Soldier. Did he love Hitoe like he had claimed, or her face like Heero had said? Hitoe and Heero were one in the same. She was who he couldn't be, but was. He was what she didn't want to be, but had to. They were the same person

The swing went higher......

No, Duo would not let misery and regret rule the rest of his live. He was going to get his happiness now. The happiness that he would share with Heero, the person he loved. The person he wanted to spend his life with.

As Heero let go of the swing once more, Duo leapt forward. His fear, his ego, and his pride, which had stopped him earlier, had been flown away. Damn those stupid feelings, he would not let them prevent him from getting his true love.

The Japanese boy was flown backward from the swing and Duo, who had arrived behind him, spread his arms, receiving the flying boy squarely in the chest. Never, he would never let go again.

Duo could hear a soft gasp from the boy in front of him as he hugged him tightly from the back and rested his chin on the Japanese pilot's right shoulder. "Welcome back......." Duo murmured, nuzzling the slender neck and feeling the familiar sensation of being so closed with his love. "....to me."

OWARI


End file.
